A Crap Beginning
by louicica bunny overlordesses
Summary: We Travel To different Worlds such as pokemon, high school musical and yugioh don't worry, high school musical doesn't last long q:P with Jess,weez and vicki.
1. Pokémon, a crap beginning

'Oh crap, we came in on an inset day' said Vicki, not amused.

'YAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' shouted jess, clearly overwhelmed

with joy.

'And I'm stuck with two spazzes for a whole day, well may as well make the best of it' said weez

'PENIS, PENIS' shouted jess

'WTF jess you complete SPAZ' exclaims Vicki.

'lol guys, so, I think jess means the bmtron game not something else' Weez giggled 'least I hope she means the snake game.'

'PLAY, play play play PLAY?' jess screamed.

'Alright, alright you gay' said Vicki, having logged on for no apparent reason.

'yay we are playing the game now' said weez in a broken narrative way.

'NARRATION BAD STOPPING you NOW'. Jess stated with a  face.

'ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-' starts jess but Lauly, Saki, ex-prawn kayo, amok and lexis all interrupt with 'HEEEEEELO GUYZZZ … DRIVE INTO THE AWESOME PIKACHU POPUP'. Of course Jess does…

'Whoosh' says an extremely unenthusiastic voice.

'uurrgghh…where are we dudes' said kayo

'hello are you a boy or a girl?' says a voice

Everyone said girl, except Jess who just licks it

' oh yes, now I remember, what was your name again?'

Everyone, Including jess put there names, exept Saki, who wanted to put THE CHAZ, but there weren't enough letters, so she was stuck with Saki.

'oh yes, now my grandson has been your rival since birth, but I forgot his name what was it again?' there were a variety of answers including: 'gary!ah!', 'bumface', 'gah you have terrid memory', 'I eat my own poo', 'bumpoo', 'not-as-good-looking-as-cloud', 'i-X-you SQUALL' and many more crap.

'thank you for jogging my memory, now for an introduction to pokemo-'

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHUP all play pok before shup none need'

'BUT-' said amok

'SHUP' said Lauly

'fine, choose your POKEMON'

Kayo immediately screeched, 'EEVEE!!

The prof. simply said 'No, you can have corphish'. Saki laughed , until she was given sudowoodo. Lauly got given numel( LOL), Lexis got a skitty, as did amok. He gave the others eggs.

'You should see your mother before you leave' said Oak.

Everyone exclaimed 'Ur MoM' then they went to buy some potion except the three with eggs who had to stay behind.

'those eggs shouldn't hatch soon, you are very lucky girls, they are probably extremely common, but the fact they are eggs means they are actually rather more common. Considering you are MC's (magical camels, don't ask why ) it almost assures that you get a good pokemon.'

YOUR EGG IS MAKING SOUNDS, IT IS PROBABLY ABOUT TO HATCH dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHH!!

Huh? The eggs is hatching?(we meant is) _CUE_ _GAY HATCHING/EVOLVING MUSIC._

Mew! Mewtwo! Riolu! They all walk outside brandishing their prizes and joined the others buying potions.

'what do you mean, potion, super potion, hyper potion, max potion? You only get ordinary potions here. The rest are at the pokemon league-' said the shop guy.

'buy twenty then go. Guys' said Saki. they left for the league. And left the three MCs.

The MCs walked into the grass above pallet town, and saw three dogs. Conveniently they had three pokeBALLS so they screamed 'he he he lol i like catch you gayness' at least jess did.

'like cool do we get to catch 'em yeah' said weez

jess just like lay on the floor and threw a pokeball. It hit a gay looking dog with a giant moustache thing? 'YAAAAAY like moos hey is name moos hey!!!' moos hey was caught by jess, it was now vickis turn. 'Get the fuck into this ball you gay spazzy volcano dog.' The dog looked terrified and said 'grrrrr, ye whateva' the other dog looked confuzzled before lying on the floor and attacking a piece of string

'CAT' shouted guess who.

'ye like i guess i should probably catch this one, i think its a suicune or somthin'. Said weez as she actually bothered to do one of those gay, pointless throwing poses 'i think Moos hey is raikou and Vicki's is entei'

'yay we just caught some pokemon!' they all screamed in unison, at least jess screamed...

Someone appeared and knocked them out, bundled them into sacks and threw them into the back of a van…

'what do you mean, no toilets!' shouted lauly, the kid shrank back

'well we don't drink anything here so we don't need toilets, I thought those were just myths!' said the guy, amok screeched a fangirly scream,

' OMIGOSH its gary AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!' suddenly hugging him in the least gay way possible.

'WHAT WERE THE POTIONS FOR THEN!!!!!' screamed kayo!

'oh YEAH, those are for pokemon huh, huh, huh, I kinda forgot' said lauly sheepishly

'!' said everyone looks of horror on their faces, except saki who had had WAAAAAY too much vodka mix…

The MCs woke up but no one could be bothered to move and no one would go near jess when she was dreaming… she was dreaming of squeezing cats… and she is kinaesthetic…so they went back to sleep…

'wow guys we can go to the sirfari zone eh lexis?' said saki, making kissy kissy sounds.

'sure' said lexis secretly wishing double sir was there

'gary oh hun come with us oooh ohhhh' amok had NOT let gary out of her sight, and gary was rather pleased to be fussed over. No one told him she was gay… but they went to the sirfari zone to hone their catching skills…(they weren't that great to begin with wtf?)

'WANT CAT SOOT NOT POOFY GIRAFFE' screamed jess.

'just accept the bloody suit they fuckin give you' Vicki explained, though its not like she had seen what was in store for her yet…

'Awesome guys, let's go catch some pokemon'. Said kayo, just like her favourite character, Ash (the n00b) though she would never admit such a thing!

'IVE NEVER SEEN THOSE 3 POKEMON BEFORE AND AS IM SUCH A FAMOUS TRAINER I REALLY SHOULD CATCH THEM AND ADD THEM TO MY POKEDEX' 'said' Gary

'oh Gary you're SOOOOOOOO clever, ooooh!?' said amy as Gary pinched her somewhere(wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and so the n00bs tried to catch a girafarig, luvdisk, and eevee.

'guys! Help us out of these suits please kayo?' said weez

'OMG eevee im like your greatest fan EEVEE EEEVEE EEVEEEEEE!!!!' screamed kayo

'kayo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-' said weez

'IT KNOWS MY NAME!!' screamed kayo even louder than before.

Smack! A black and blue weez climbed out of the eevee costume and puts on a very annoyed face.

'KAYO YOU IDIOTO' screamed weez.

'help?' asked jess-girafarig very quietly while kayo started crying silently.

'a girafarig? I just gotta get one of those!' said Gary

'Gary, Gary, he's my man, if he can't do it no one can!oh? gaaaaary…' said amok seductively whilst Gary began to blush (and squeezed something else of hers ;) ), and thought I'll do this for her.

Meanwhile Saki thought _'what the hell is that pink thing, LOL, its soooo dumb, so like I think I'll catch it'. _

'Gary und Amok habe Geschlecht in ein Bett' said the Vicki-luvdisk

'IT KNOWS GERMAN!!! Umm? Frankfurter? LOL I am the American King of Germanaga, I gotta catch it now' Saki laughed.

'SHIT' shouted Vicki-luvdisk and started to hop away

'IT CAN SWEAR IN ENGLISH' screamed Saki again. Meanwhile, jess had been freed from the girafarig costume and had been laughing EXTREMELY enthusiastically for the last 10.847593 minutes at some guy called brock rock. At first he had been in one of his trances but after 2 seconds he was wierded out, he saw Saki…

'What is the name of that laughing maiden with the face as beautiful as a geodude falling into a lake' said Brock, as he began to float dreamily towards Saki.

Saki saw him approaching and immediately started to shout, 'CRAP' closely followed by, 'LOL LOL LOL' as Jess screeched his name in a high pitched voice.

As Kayo grabbed Brock's ear and dragged him away from her 'wife' Lexis felt left out, until… 'GUYS, ITS LIKE LIKE SIRRR'.

'she need NOT ball catching that fish? It seems **LIKE** lexis?' asked jess, completely confuzzled. Everyone stared at her blankly.

'heh heh heh ????' she asked again even more confuzzled than before? Everyone sighed and ignored her.

'I've gotta catch him guys!' shouted the exited Lexis as she approached the wild Hanson.

(CUE GAYER CAPTURE MUSIC(DUN DUN DUN DUNDUNDUN…) )

'OK, like skitty like I dunno use your attack, but PLEASE don't hurt him, he's like a FRIEND like…' lexis asked.

'Try attract lexis' said weez. But the wild sir had just used his 'I'll appear where lexis is' attack, not that that ever really happens…(cough).  
The attract worked and Lexis gayfully threw her pokeball at the sir…dum dum dum dum –more dum's-ping la la la lalalala la la la followed by would you like too give a name to you're newly caught sir? 'I think I'll call him Hanson(secretly thinking NO actually I'll call him toyboy ;) )

While the others went to get drunk on potion…again, the three MC's and there rarely mentioned pokemon decided to explore the safari zone some more until for some completely abnormal reason they came across the three legendary birds. Automatically, Jess jumped on Articuno and mew floated readily by her, with determination Jess ordered mew too… stay and watch while she used her own lick attack, which completely knocked out the poor defenceless birdie and before long it was hers. Next up was Vicki who went for the spazzy zapdos, as before she said, 'GET THE FUCKIN HELL INTO THIS POKEBALL COZ IM IN A PISSED OFF MOOD!!!!', once again the zapdos flew directly into the pokeball with no questions. Finally weez, unlike the other two she actually battled it with her dumb suicune, because like a gay she new a lot about pokemon. 'suicune use your hydro pump attack!' BOOM HEADSHOT and the bird was out cold. 'pokeball lets gooo!...CAUGHT, awesome'. She exclaimed sorta like Ash, but not quite so spastic.


	2. the RETARDIS strikes back

'rfkmhnjc' said the tardis, ' I cant believe people would rather watch Eurovision than doctor who!, anyways tell me again why I can suddenly talk and also why are we talkin' about the show Dr. who when we're really here?'

'I don't know, what I find just that little bit more unusual is that I actually look like David Tennant, that Earth guy that plays me, you too Martha.' Said The Doctor whilst he scratched his head like he does, apparently. 'Hold up, the tardis is picking up some disturbance coming from over theERRRRRRRREEE'. The tardis reeled and writhed then fell into a space whole thingy. What no one knew was that the space whole was actually caused by Jess, as she spun around in circles screeching about how strongly she felt on the topic of nothing in particular.

From above there sounded an alarm FWEEE FWEEE FWEEE as a blue police box appeared right in front of the team of n00bs. 'Guys, OMG, its like totally the tardis' shouted everyone except Lexis, Vicki and Amok who couldn't care less coz they never watched the show much before(unlol).

Jess just screeched even louder and stormed straight into (literally into) the tardis door, before being shunted away by the puzzled Doctor. 'WHAT?'

'Lo' everyone exclaimed.

'WHAAT?' he said again.

'HELLO, U THE DO-C-TOR?' the n00bs said, a little impatient.

'whaaaaat?'

'Stop bloody fuckin' saying WHAT!' Vicki exclaimed, and wondered why her 'friends' were obsessed with this science geek's adventures.

'Well anyway, where are we exactly?'. Everyone sighed with relief because he had stopped saying what.

'We're in the um pokemon world, these are pokemon' weez said quite normally as she gestured to her riolu.

'Sooo, what are you exactly, What species are you?'

'Well we're humans obviously' said everyone except Jess who was still on the tardis door.

'Ok, so what is that hideous creature hugging my tardis? Everyone stared at Jess, embarrassed.

'That's Jess…she's a ummm..human aswell' weez. explained sheepishly. 'Jesssssss, NOOO! Get outta there now!'The creature had entered the police box and was dancing around like a mad wallaby that was high on prawns.

'no, no ,no no, NO, get out, you can't come in here' Jess wasn't listening, Jess didn't care, Jess was just dancing more and more, Jess was pleased, some say a little tooo pleased.

Whilst the Doctor tried to pry Jess off of the controls, Jess sneakily (wow didn't think that was possible) took his sonic screwdriver and hid it in her bag pocket. Then Jess randomly took Martha's phone and dialled a random number, she didn't know this, all she wanted to do was eat it. A red light flashed followed by (to Jess's joy and the Doctor's horror) EXTERMINATE!! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO HAS CALLED ME HERE……. THE DOCTOR!!!!!

'Noooo, Me is call you here on talky stick' Jess exclaimed with a goofy Jessish expression on her face, 'u My hERo MOnSTerS!LOOLOOLOOLOONAN!'.

'EXTERMINA-' started the dalek but jess had already started hugging it to death

'daleks do not fear. But I think we need to change to survive, this creature is a threat, more so than THE DOCTOR'. Said dalek khan as he tried to spin the Jess off of him, Jess thought the dalek was playing with her, so she just licked him.

'MALFUNCTION, THIS CREATURE IS ATTACKING ME, GET IT OFF,OFFFF!!!!

'Jess knows what the doctor would do' jess got the sonic screwdriver out of her pocket and pressed the button.

'Where The Hell Did You Get ThAT!?' screamed the doctor at jess. Jess laughed and swallowed the screwdriver whole…

'NOOOOOOOOO000000000ooooooo,,,,,,,,……' said The Doctor, tears in his eyes. Jess wasn't phased, she just started to make beeping noises(the Doctor didn't know it was Jess soo…)

' What has she done this time, it looks like the tardis is malfunctioning too!

'You RE…ummm…TARDIS, yeh, RETARDIS, WHAT YOU DONE !!!shouted Lauly, finally getting to speak.

'Don't insult my tardis!' bellowed the Doctor, enraged, 'Think, think, think.. come on, what should I do?'. It was at that moment that the Doctor turned to see none other than jess with her head in the sky making regular high pitched peeping sounds. He screamed.

'_however loudfully you can scream I can scream better…' _jess then screamed, if you know jess you will know what we're talking about, and don't forget she is using sonic waves thanks to what she had eaten earlier.

'YOU IDIOT, look you've reconfigured the controls of the tardis, we could end up anywhere!' Jess didn't care, she never does, she just carries on and on and on, blissfully unaware that everything around her is buggered off, least until she gets bored, which doesn't take long.

There was a loud crash and more beeping, no, sorry that was just Jess…again.On landing for no reason Jess decided to capture the dalek she had previously phoned, as the dalek had already been paralysed by her lick, all she had to do was throw a ball et VOILA she caught it. End of story.

'uuurrrggghhh, where are we?'. Whispered Kayo. By this time, like 3.1415…hours after the crash, The Doctor had already walked off and was half way through repairing the tardis, well he would have been except Jess had threatened to use her dalek's move, obliterate (noone told her it wasn't a real move, but then no one told her she couldn't catch daleks, but look what happened.)if he even thought about moving. He promised that he wouldn't so the happy little Jess decided, like anyone else would have, to tie him and Martha to the police box with some shinies she found earlier in a toilet that didn't exist (you will have heard how Jess got out the shinies if you know her, if not then no details it's to dumbaga). They started looking around the new world they were in. jess screamed, everyone ignored her. She screamed a few more times then started running towards a clump of trees where music could be heard. Saki screamed next, then followed her. Everyone looked puzzled but then they heard shouts and screaming and scraps of music from where they had ran to.

'Were all in this together and we know that we AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!'. In a spazzy rage Vicki stormed through the wildcats crowd with her mewtwo, who had the same personality as its trainer, which resulted in massive psychic blasts erupting from everywhere.

'well this world didn't last long…and IIIII liked it'. Stated Lexis and Kayo together.

'It's a bloody good thing that this smeggy place is gone or I would've killed you gays as well' said Vicki.

'together… wait how does that song go? Umm? Everyone no. I swear there was a song like that before…?' sang lexis.

'awww man where are Saki 'n'Jess, no wait I can see saki LOLing at the destruction and O Googles Jess is with The Doctor.' sighed weez, 'It looks like she's laughing at him in a Jess way…'.

'hallo I am Gethin Gethin, I have a very manly voice, I think its an extremely manly voice, isn't it a very manly voice'.

'Please stop, please where are your friends, they seem to calm you down, I can't deal with you.' whimpered The Doctor. There was a long idiots silence for a long time.

'I cannot understand your accent…do you have a high voice try speaking with your high voice, it's the only language I understand.' Screeched Gethin/jess with, what he thought was a very manly voice, whereas he actually sounded like a chipmunk.

'right, who is responsible for this… thing?' asked the doctor still whimpering. Everyone looked at weez. 'WHAT! FINE! Fine, fine. I will restrain her.' Weez mumbled, turning to gethin/jess 'come on noodledoodle we are going on a picnic , come on follow me…' jess skipped along, a giant grin on her face. Jess likes picnics. 'JESS LIKE PICNICS!' jess screeched, completely forgetting the doctor and gethin. Weez turned suddenly and grabbed jess' arm, handcuffing her to the railing (to keep her from attacking anyone, not in a gay way.) 'HOORAY!' shouted everyone exept the doctor, who was on the controls and kissing his beloved TARDIS. 'Now, where to guys. I just want that … THING! To be outta here' he turned to Saki (0.o) and asked her where to go. 'SPIRA' she cried ecstatically.

'Don't be n00by, you want to go here.' Said the doctor. Everyone was shocked, both

because of his language and also because of what he had just said. What kind of evil place were they going to?!


End file.
